Merry Christmas!

I wish all my loved ones and friends a Merry Christmas.  May you feel peace and love from those around you.  May you all be warm and well fed.  And may the gift of Light and Life make us all humble and grateful.

May we all cherish our little ones and hope they stay on Santa's Nice list.

And I'm particularly hopeful this holiday that we don't have need of a vacuum, since Joel smoked it this morning.  :(

Please, sir!

If I've already given you an answer, please don't ask me again.

Oh Christmas Tree!

We cut down a tree today.  It was disturbingly easy.

In all the years of buying trees, I've never felt the need to thank it, or apologize to it, personally, for giving its life to us for our Christmas cheer.  Until today.

For any of you who watched last night's episode of Big Bang Theory, I felt a little like Sheldon today (even if Christmas trees derived from Saturnalia is conjecture!).   Our traditions have gone a bit too far.  I even considered the whole "gift hypothesis" as I was thinking of what level gift I should give a friend of mine.  Until I disgusted myself.  

So, for this week, we're going to put lights on our little tree and let it feel the joy of a warm home with children who adore it.  Ho ho ho.

The Great Out-, I mean, Indoors.

"Run for your lives! There's a bug on the tree!"

Tis the Season

I love Christmas.  I love the celebrations, the joy, and the peace, and the warmth that pierces through the cold air.  The only thing that ruins it for me is the argumentative, selfish, whining beast that replaces my smart and usually thoughtful 6 yr old son.  The harder I try to bring out the real meaning of the season, the more ferocious he seems to become.   I need advice.  I can't be in the same room with him.  

P.S.  I love him.

So Done With Kid Stuff

Happy Birthday, Joel!

Joel: "I'm not going to play today.  I'm just going to do grown-up stuff like reading and talking."

"I'm so happy I could almost cry!"

Sunday Birthday

I'm about to have a 6 year old!  Any ideas on what to do on a Sunday to celebrate 6??

A pumpkin patch story

Joel wrote a story about a pumpkin patch as part of his October homework.  I don't remember having homework in Kindergarten, but then again, look how I turned out... Anyway, I digress.

I translated from K-spelling errors, but here's his little story pretty much word for word:

"This is about a pumpkin patch.  

Once there was a happy little town where there were lots of pumpkin patches.

One of the pumpkins snuck up on a house right behind a door and opened it when people weren't looking and suddenly the people saw them and tried to catch it but they couldn't."

Scary

It really didn't take much effort to create this look for Halloween, which now has me concerned that perhaps I've become more naturally witchier than I had realized.  If anyone wants to use me for a makeover show, might I suggest the title be "How to look like a million without brewing a million."

Pumpkin time.

At first, the pumpkins were fun to sit with....

Then they started changing...Poor little j must have been sitting too close when the spell was cast.

Fleeting moments

For quite some time now, with notable thanks to the research and advice of Marc Weisbluth, I have emerged from the fog of sleep deprivation and the exhaustion of physically carrying little humans around in various capacities.  It is a testament to the overwhelming shock of becoming a parent that it has taken me so long to realize that those precious early stages of my childrens' lives are rapidly passing by, and that that time when my boys were babies was precious, beautiful, simple, and delicious.  Adjectives that I would have used to describe that fog were much less idealistic when completely immersed in it, but isn't that the case with most stages of our lives?  

So, I recognize the need to repent.  Today, I reminded myself at various times, even when it was difficult or unnatural, that I needed to take a mental snapshot of the laughter and joy that comes with having two little people in my life.  

One moment was when I was getting ready this afternoon, dad and j were exercising in the living room.  They were both laughing and grunting and I wasn't soaking it all in like I could have if I just put my toothbrush down and went into the living room and watched.  I'm so glad that I seized the moment and watched j bench-press dad with the appropriate numerical grunt for each repetition.  j had complete buy-in that he was actually bench-pressing his dad, that it was worthwhile work, and that afterwards, he's supposed to say, "whew!" with a sense of accomplishment.

Later I stopped what I was doing to watch j's gratifying giggles as dad played "tick tock" with him.  There's nothing on earth that creates as much concentrated serotonin in my brain than j's smile and laugh.  

At swim lessons, J was pushing himself to swim all the way across the pool.  The determination was just dripping off of him.  It was so vivid and inspiring to watch!  I tried to make a memory of it that would be retrievable when I'm old and lonely.  

Earlier, J was working on addition and subtraction in his workbook when I noticed that I didn't have to make him do his work.  He was enjoying it.  And he was calculating problems using his toes whenever he ran out of fingers!  

Lastly, as if to reinforce my determination to remember these memories, I practiced retrieving them when j kissed me goodnight, as J was reading a Dr. Seuss to me, and as I'm blogging about it now.  I'm going to miss these moments.  I already wish I could relive those moments of today and make time stand still with me standing right in the middle of all that joy.  Instead, I kneel down in prayer and pour out my heart in thanks.

He's got the whole world in his hands.

Yesterday, an orange.  Today the world.

Eye Heart You

Joe and Jay Cool Rockin' in the Hizzouse!

I wanna be a woman tonight!!

My goal this week was pretty simple.  By Saturday night, I needed to be properly cleaned and decorated so that I could pass as a woman who has the time to look like one.

[If you're grossed out by the gory details, skip this paragraph.]  So, I needed to tweeze my eyebrows, clip my nails, wash off all the poop, baby wipes, dish soap, bleach, dog hairs, and other marks of motherhood, shave my legs, blow dry my hair, put on makeup and put on something sparkly to wear without someone small picking all the sparkles off.

Suffice it to say, we are nearing the final hour, and I don't know how young mothers do it!  I see pictures of friends who have managed it and seem to manage it on a regular basis.  I officially started about an hour ago, and have managed about half of the things on my transformation list, but I'm almost out of time.  The kids and husband have been working on a model rocket, but I know they are going to be finished any minute, and my time will be up.  Granted, I'm sitting here writing this blog post instead of drying my hair.  But I had to write.  I need help.  I want to open this up for discussion. 

How do you put yourselves together every day!  I've put this off all week (the things that could have been done in advance, obviously) because of some other more pressing need.  Do you just not clean house?  Do you opt to skip meals?  Put kids to bed early?  Send them to the babysitters?  Daycare?  Please share your secrets with me.  

Count your many blessings

Today in church we sang a familiar hymn, "Count Your Blessings."  

After we finished, Joel whispered excitedly, "Mom, I have fourteen blessings!....[pause, thinking]...No, wait, fifteen.  I just thought of another one!"

Gotta hail the chief

Maybe all things do happen for a reason.

I felt pretty sad about the last two presidential elections for lots of reasons, but if Bush hadn't won, Joel wouldn't have gotten into this great elementary school that we couldn't afford to live near.  

Because of "No Child Left Behind," schools have to pass standardized tests or face penalties.  It's basic stuff for those who understand English, from what I hear.  But a large percentage of kids in our neighborhood do not, so our brand-new elementary school failed on several fronts last year.  As a result, we are given the option of a transfer to one of two better performing schools in the district.  It just so happens that one of those schools is perhaps the best public elementary school in the county.  

And Joel gets to go, the district has to bus him there, and he can continue to attend through 6th grade, even if his local school ends up passing their standard tests.  So, hail to the chief.  We made lemonade!!

We're very proud of our growing up big boy who now takes the bus to school.  

School Rules

I am kind.

I listen and raise my hand.

I keep my hands and feet to myself.

I work and play quietly in the room.

I have my name on all my things.

I will be on time.

I will get on the right bus.

I will line up and wait patiently outside my classroom.

I will not bring my dog on school grounds.

I will report to the office if I'm late and have a note from my parents.

I will bring home lots of forms for my parents to fill out.

I won't ride my bike to school until I'm 9, even if my parents are with me.

I will take my medicine before school.

I will play by game rules and choose referees before the start of games.

I will play tag only in the field.  

I won't chew gum.

I won't climb on the outside of the play structure or on top of the monkey bars. 

I will slide feet first.

I will only run in the field.

I will not dig in the field.

I won't pick up sticks.

I will not call names.  

Be responsible.

Respect yourself.

Respect all property.

Respect other students and all staff.

Respect school community and playground expectations.

Stay on school grounds during school hours and observe defined boundaries.

Do not bring gum, super balls, hard or soft baseballs, trading cards, toy guns, pocket knives, lighters or matches to school.

Electronic devices of any kind are not allowed.

Umbrellas are permitted when used safely.

Students are expected to dress for the weather. 

Use only the main building restroom during recess.  Obtain a pass from playground teacher first.

Students must possess an office/hall pass to be in the main building.

Tackle football, playing tag on climbing equipment, "play" fighting, rough play are not permitted.

No sexual harassment.

So, Joel has read and understood all the rules and has signed his name to them.  Right after he finished his thesis on migratory centipedes.  Did I mention he's 5?

My Apologies

While I was looking for school supplies at Walmart tonight, I didn't say "hi!"  I was very tired.  It was a long day filled with errands, new routines, a sick dog, swim lessons, forms to fill out, and a lot of whining, arguing, and disappointment.  Yeah, you're probably too tired now to read further.  Follow your instincts.  

Once I found a parking spot, I kept my head pretty much focused on finding a plastic box, some slippers, and a backpack.  I had my handy shopping bag so that I wouldn't have to lug around a cart or basket that might slow me down.  I'm sorry for not making eye contact.  I was just making sure I had enough time budgeted to stand in line at checkout.

I know you were there, because everyone was.  Who wasn't?  Who knew?  I've never seen Walmart the night before school starts.  I didn't know that we were all supposed to be there.  That if you live within 60 miles of Seattle, you'd be there.  But since I'm sure you were there, I felt guilty for not saying "hi" and for trying to avoid you.  I was afraid you'd slow me down, and I'd get sucked into a vortex of cranky shoppers with sharp pens, scissors, glue sticks, hand sanitizer, and snacks.  I might have become possessed by desperation and "oh, they're out of pink erasers!" defeatism.  So, I just pretended not to see you.  

I'm sorry.  I'll catch up with you tomorrow, after the kids are in school, with their supplies, and snacks, and new slippers, and I've had a shower.

Happy Birthday Pa!

We had a lovely dinner.  

The best part of it was blowing our diet on blackberry cobbler!

I used to be an INFP.

Now I'm an INFJ.  I didn't see the breakdown on my scores, but maybe I'm teetering on the middle.  Anyway, I love to read summaries of my so-called personality in a lengthy, nice description that sounds better than I am.  It's as if by taking a test, someone out there now knows me better than I know myself, and I suddenly have an instant soulmate.

Mush Me

Jamie:  "I'm afraid there's going to be a poopoo on the ground and the poopoo's going to mush me."  Said as an excuse to ask me to pull the other lawn chair over beside me for him.

Ready to swim

We took Jamie to the pool yesterday.  He picked up some skills right away, which is encouraging me to get him some lessons.  "Why swim lessons?" you might ask since I used to teach lessons myself?  Good question.  Could it be that the cost of buying myself a new swimsuit would cover 8 weeks of swim lessons?  Could it be because there's not a pool around with enough uncrowded public swim time?  Maybe I lack the confidence that two little brothers would learn much of anything from their mother?  

Nevertheless, if Jamie wants to go swimming and can put on his swimsuit by himself, what am I going to do?  Discourage him and point out it's on inside out?  

It's killing me not to have good access to a pool for the kids.  I was so spoiled with it when I was young.  

Sweethearts

Yesterday, Joel said he thought we needed to do some work for Jesus before we could see him again.  He decided we need to get big, black trash bags and go fill them up with trash from the whole world and bring them home with us and put in our trash cans.  Then he decided that we needed to share some of Jesus' love with others and that we should make cookies and take them to people.  

So, today was Sunday, and we shouldn't be working on the Sabbath, so the trash will wait until Monday.  But the cookies, we could make on Sunday.  I consider that work, but I don't think Heavenly Father nor most people do.  So, we only finished 10.  If you're one of the lucky 10 people we visit tomorrow, be prepared for some sweethearts.  

Time to Blog

It's been too long since my last post.  It's going to sound more depressing than I am.  It's going to sound like therapy.  Sorry folks, but all the things I've been thinking of blogging about are coming up, bulimia-style.  

Las Vegas:

Hot, skanky, excessive

Cirque du Soleil:

Magical, bliss, inspiring

Church carpet:

Makes me cry

Diets:

suck, mean, hate

Being fat:

sucks, depressing, hate

Weeds:

Grow, spread, ugly

Body aches:

Punishment, aggravating, discouraging

Getting old:

Giving up dreams

Spouse:

Wonderful, thoughtful, kind

J:

Independent, resilient, faithful

j:

Love, messy, emotional

Playing horn:

Practice, Endless, Practice

TV:

Addictive, escape, caution

Bulimia:

Would love to know

I just found out, Jamie's been pooping his pants during the night or naps, because he was too afraid to wake me up to go to the bathroom.  He was sensitive to all the yelling at Joel that we did about getting out of bed, that he's too afraid to do what he needs to take care of himself.  That explains a lot.  It makes me sad when the kids reflect my bad behavior in coping mechanisms.  

Ah well.  A new week.  We'll see if I can do something to improve things.

So you think you can dance.

Harlan had an awesome trombone solo on "It's not easy being green." He got the biggest applause.  We loved the whole night of happy big band music.  And the boys were so inspired to strut out their moves on the dance floor.    

(You'll have to imagine the audio.)

Sunbreak

Summer in the northwest cannot be beat.  I get vacation fever every year about this time.  But whenever I try to think of where to go, I can't find anywhere nicer than home.  It's the perfect temperature 95% of the summer, the perfect humidity, and it's colored with fantastic vegetation.

So, here we are loving our backyard.  Would you come join us so we don't have to leave?

Summer Break

Joel said, "I want to stay with Becky at Mooncreek [Montessori] forever!"  We're all going to be a little sad when school's out this week.  We don't really have much planned for this summer.  Any suggestions?

Moving on

I signed Joel in at preschool this morning.  As I was leaving, I asked if he wanted a hug.  He said, "No, I'll give you a hug at home."  I was not prepared for this response.  

I was prepared for, "Don't go!" 

I was prepared for a body-slam hug and a death squeeze that doesn't end until I insist.  

I was prepared for an all-out protest, whimpering, even crying. 

That hug has been a ritual for 2 years.  A full-on public demonstration that I am Joel's mom.   The territorial mark Joel needs to show all the other kids in his class that he's loved just as much or more than they are.  

Something happened today.  

I feel like protesting, whimpering, crying, a death squeeze and not letting go.  

I've always liked moving on.  But now I just want to live in the moment.

Dream Big

S: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Jamie: Joel!

Playing hooky

What's more educational?  We're so lucky to be able to take our little scientists to the beach on sunny, gorgeous days like this.   Sand dollars, worms, crabs, sea otters, rocks, mucky muck, and seaweed. YUM!

Whack!

Way to go, Joel!

3 Years Old!!

3 Years of Pure Joy!

What I love about Jamie:

"Don't Shake the Baby!"

He can get a smile out of me no matter what mood I'm in.

He has Feinstein toes.

He loves to be close.

Happy Birthday, Jamie!

Days of Wonder

I wanted to write something profound about how little ones learn by trying and testing and working out puzzles and how I appreciate their tenacity.

I didn't get very far before I felt pretentious.  

If I asked Joel to go write something wonderful, he'd probably get a pen and paper and write "To mamam.  Love Joel."  It's exactly the reminder I need every day and precisely his very desire.  

So I'll just try to say less, and watch, listen and love more.

EEEK!!!

"There's a frog on my nose!"

What a dump!!

So many titles to choose from.  What's your favorite?

"Hey, look at this truck!"

"Who put this here?"

"Now I'm ready for my glamour shot."

"What's for dinner?"

"Now can I have a poopy party?"

"Stinking paparazzi"

We're so proud of our newest competition for the toilet.  Way to go, little guy!

Date night!

"Joel, in a little while, we're going to go pick up a babysitter t........"

"NO! I don't want a babysitter tonight!" 

"Yes, mom and dad need to go on a date to remind ourselves that we love each other."

"Well, I want to go with you on a date!!"

["HA!" heard from the spouse in the basement]

Being Tagged

Four Jobs I've Had:

Horn Player

Lifeguard

Executive Assistant at MA CHSB

Office Admin at The Work Place (MA)

Four Movies I've Watched Over and Over:

Shrek

Cars

Toy Story

Monsters Inc.

Four Places I've Lived:

Chelsea, MA

Somerville, MA

Carrollton, GA

Bielefeld, Germany

Four of My Favorite Foods:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Pad Thai

Panang Curry

French Fries

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

Nail Salon

In a skinny body

Sitting on a warm beach

On vacation with G&M, J&K, Mom, Jefe, and Har

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2008:

Joel going to Mimi's for 2 weeks

Jamie being potty trained

Getting a pedicure

Playing Tchaik 4

Four Friends to Tag:

I think all my friends have done this already.

Hide and Seek

Find 3 things in this picture that don't belong:

PB&J

Take a dab of Peanut Butter.

Take a dab of Jelly.

Put it together.

And Enjoy!

Jesus Made It Dark

Jamie is sent downstairs to get a cup of water in the middle of the night.  The short version of the story is that he didn't get it right, so I had to get up out of bed and do it.  More on that later.

As we're walking downstairs, Jamie whispers, "it's dark."  

I mumbled something incoherent in agreement.

We reached the kitchen and I noticed Jamie had left the kitchen light on.  "What'd you leave the light on for?" I asked.  

"I don't know.  Jesus made it dark," Jamie replied.  

"Yes, I guess you're right."  

Brown?

I'm a BROWN, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy.  Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart.  With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver.  And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision.  Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music.  Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view.  Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

What color are you?

http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652

Cast your vote!

So many opinions...

Should I cut off all of Jamie's curls and give him a real boy haircut?

Yes or No?

Rock ON

We'll have to remember not to wear black next week so that our instruments stand out more for our fans.

Phonebooth

On the link in my last blog, someone posted a comment: "What's a phonebooth?" and the response was "its a really really really BIG cell phone, with like, NO features."

I would just like to add an educational link for those of you who have forgotten or never seen a phonebooth.

Pukey Pants

Airport newsstands that are open 24 hours a day, not the boutique stores that close at 8pm, should totally sell these:
I'm sure someone had a spare pair of kids pants somewhere in the Denver airport, but I couldn't find them. Their loss, 'cause they could have made a killing on them if they had seen the amount of vomit on Jamie's pants that night. If someone had said, "$100 and you won't have to smell those jeans for the next 3 hours," I would have said "throw in a little shirt and you have a deal."

Don't boast

Raise your hand if you know what happens when you boast.
You say, "Bad Things, Suzanne"?
Why, yes! You're right!

Well, in the grand scheme of things, I know, I know, our "Things" are not so bad. They don't live in a box and play with my best polka dot dress. But they do make the house a mess. And they do whine and whine and whine. And they do get sick and throw up all over us--repeatedly--even when we tell them not to--repeatedly--it's as if they can't help it!

Oh, about the repeating...I have made myself a little rule: If someone repeats the same request or comment more than three times and my response is being ignored, then I copy the repeater. I confess, this is not the peacemaker's approach. It's the I'm-all-out-of-ideas,-now,-I'll-do-anything-to-make-them-stop-crying- about-candy-right-now-exasperated-mother-who-needs-a-trip-to-Venus approach.

Seriously. We've been sick since the beginning of January, just like every other family with young kids that I know. We even threw in a trip to Georgia to change the scenery while we were throwing up, just to keep Things from getting boring. There have been some well deserved rough nights, in return for my gloating to the universe over my good sleepers and superior parenting. So, if you've checked my blog day after day only to find the same old post about how great things are, I'm setting the record straight. I chose to sleep between laundry loads instead of blogging about our cute offspring.

So, here's what I've learned: Heed my inner voice. You can all rely on MY inner voice if you want, or heed your own, but, whatever, if it says "just don't boast", take my advice, "Don't". Unless, of course, you love the smell of vomit and sleep deprivation, then, what the heck, boast away!

Sleeping Habits

I have to confess. You may already know this. But I'm posting it anyway for posterity.

Our kids have the best sleeping habits. They are both terrific sleepers. They go to bed with relatively little fuss and early. Even if they aren't tired yet, they will go to bed and sing or sneeze or mumble themselves to sleep.

Joel gave up his nap months ago or has it been a year? But he still takes naps on Sunday after lunch. For my sanity's sake, really. And when he does, he gets to stay up for an hour or so after Jamie goes to bed. It's great for us. And usually Harlan has Sunday night rehearsals, so I enjoy having his company.

For many months we were trying to transition them to sleeping together in the same room. We have the bunk beds down side by side with matching linens. They would, like all siblings, talk each other to sleep, wake each other up, get in each others' beds, run around, kick, jump, etc. We thought we were teaching them to bond and be more respectful of each other. But mostly, it was just unpleasant for all.

We were taking two excellent boys who were going to bed in their separate rooms and sleeping happily 12+ hours a night and reducing them to less than 10 hours of sleep and battling a 2+ hour nighttime routine. What were we thinking? This cannot be worth having a guest bedroom and bonded brothers.

So we heeded all our family's advice and put Joel in the guest bedroom. Now, we have harmony again. They go to bed quickly, quietly, peacefully at 6pm, and sleep until 7:30am.

And now, because they are separated, they want to spend their every waking moment together.

Creativity

Do you get credit for creativity if you replicate what someone else has done?

Won'tpower

I'm writing down what I eat each day. Goal: stay under 1500 calories/day.

Oatmeal, blueberries, yogurt: 440
Smoothie: 60
Large potato: 300
8 Chocolate kisses (thank you, VTers): 200
Stirfry: 110
Potatoes: 150
Biscuit: 105
Another biscuit: 105
More kisses, huge bowl of honey bunches of oats and milk: a bajillion

I'm not giving up, just writing down my losses.

A Kiss for You?

Once Upon A Potty

Do you know "Once upon a Potty?" If not, you're really missing out.

Well, just like Joshua, Jamie sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and sat and when he got up, he saw all of his wee wee and poo poo(!) in the toilet. He was very proud. I was proud, too. And Joel was proud.

I won't share the misfortunes of later this morning involving pee on the floor, in the cabinets, on the doors, on the toys, on the wall, on the diapers, on the wipes, on the Q-tips, in the bath, a black eye, a bloody lip, two stubbed toes, and a welt on a cheek.

Suffice to say, we're pleased with Jamie's recent efforts.

(And I humbly add that I deserve a purple heart for locking myself in my little bathroom with my two little boys for two hours this morning.)

Welcome Home!

Conveniently located in our very own living room, this rustic two bedroom home has all anyone could ask for: a picnic table, a playhouse presumably with its own fireplace, a nice fenced in yard, open windows, and a porch.