My Christmas Present

Christmas Eve 2011

 Reading Luke 2.

Focused

Little gifts

Our tree is bursting with little gifts.  Some of them are legit.  But most of them I have no idea about.


Every morning when we wake up, there are another dozen gifts under the tree from Joel. It's probably mostly random stuff he's been selecting to wrap in the wee hours, because I know he hasn't been to a store.  I bought a 30-bow bag and 50 name tags a couple of days ago, when I noticed that our wrapping supplies were being eaten in the night, and those were all gone again today.


I finally asked both boys yesterday to make lists of who to give gifts to and keep them safe from wandering eyes and to make sure that they don't forget anyone.  Then I took them to the dollar store armed each with a $20 bill.  At one point when we were at the store I asked Joel how many gifts he was getting his cousin, because it sounded to me like he had already gotten 2 or 3 things for her.  He said that he had 11 so far!  Now they both have even more little gifts to wrap.  


We're all having a blast with it.


About the tree: I'm sure you can understand why the tree is loaded with decorations from 4 1/2ft and down.  But I have no idea how that gingerbread made it up to the top.  I don't really want to know.  I'm just enjoying the fact that someone thought it needed a place of prominence.  


Merry Christmas to all!

Eagle day.

 Joel took this picture today on an outing with his grandparents.  They're cool.  He and his grandparents.  And Eagles.

Time Warp

Mom: Joel, can you name 600 Pokemon?

Joel: bulbasaur, ivysaur, venasaur, charmander, charmeleon, charizard, ...

Mom: Are you counting, too?

Joel: You count. I've named 6 so far.

Mom: I can't count to 600 right now. I have other things to do.

Joel: Sure you can. I counted to 1000 before, in bed. Really, it took 30 minutes.

Camping with Boys

Seriously, did I go camping alone with the boys? Yes, I did. I must have been in too much shock to blog about it, because it took me 3 months to notice that I flagged pictures to post.

Memory of it was that it was nice to be out there in the peace and quiet with my little adventurers.

Would I do it again? probably. It was kinda hard, with one moment of "I can't handle this" but good memories were made. And that's the point, right?

Another 10 things I'm thankful for:

soft bed sheets

good books

time to myself

a friend to walk with

a nice husband

music

PUZZLEHUNT!!!

a kindof free country

church callings

FG8

Hot and Cold

I love summer. As a kid, it meant no school and swimming whenever we wanted. As a parent, that hasn't changed much. I've enjoyed the kids being out of school so much that I'm anxious and worried about school starting again. And I enjoyed being at the pool every day for the last month to watch my kids play in the water and swim like I did when I was young.

I don't know how many times I've said since moving north (whether Boston or Seattle) that it's the Georgia heat that I don't miss. The cool, dry summers of Seattle can't be beat, can they? However, today when I asked Joel what he missed most from our Georgia summer trip, he said the heat, and I realized that I have been missing the point. The heat is the necessary element that makes that first splash into the water so refreshing and every moment thereafter all about not wanting to be away from the water. Because it's so hot, we are always wearing our swimsuits and are ready to jump in the nearest pool of cool relief. Water is so much fun and relaxing! Whether we're in a pool, waterslide, ocean, or river, we're wet, cool, and having fun!

At 37, I'm just starting to get why my love of swimming runs so deep. I'm a little jealous that Joel gets it at 8.

Moving On

Today was a beautiful day at the park. We loaded up the boys' bikes and rode and picnicked and swam in the big public pool and dove off the diving boards and just had a great day wearing ourselves out.

Oh Baby, baby.

Joel's fascination with the Georgia wildlife just went to a whole new level today. He found a nest on the ground with two baby birds in it. We put it back in the tree where he found it, but when we came back in the afternoon, the babies were on the ground, not in the nest. Not sure what to do, we brought them home and started researching. Feeding them seems necessary in the short term. Tomorrow, we take the nest back to the tree and try again to attract their parents, but with the nest in a sturdy box higher up in the tree.

They are precious, though. He's totally in love with them and is heartbroken at the thought of doing what is best for them. Meanwhile, I'm becoming more and more convinced that, with his innate nurturing instincts, he needs a pet of his own to take care of.

GA Summer

We're in Georgia for a couple of weeks. It's hot, but we're all having a great time. I need to take photos, and maybe I'll add some to this post tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Joel's got a better name for hush puppies, if you can't remember what to call them: doodle poohs. They got to try them with their bream fish that they caught at Charles' pond this morning. Jamie, who has the least amount of fishing experience of all of us, was the fisherman of the day catching a dozen, at least, including a huge one that bent his hook and got away. Joel kept losing his bait while Jamie fished one out after another. Neither of them liked hush puppies, whatever that means.

Speaking of catches, Joel is continuing his tradition of catching GA wildlife. Thus far, we have a Eastern Tiger Swallowtail, a green anole, a beetle that we let go, a tadpole and a few dozen minnows that we thought we'd fish with but decided against. We're going to need some bigger cages, I'm thinking.

Fears and Tears

Teaching Joel to ride a bike has been difficult. He's a very stubborn and cautious child. That's sometimes great, sometimes not so great. He was the toddler at the playground who watched all the other kids slide down the big slide but would not get beyond enjoying the view from the top. He wouldn't even try walking until his pediatrician insisted he do it at his 15 month checkup.

He has been studying other kids riding their bikes for years. I could see him longing for their freedom and independence. They could ride all over the place! Their parents weren't within arms-reach! They could feel the wind in their hair! But as he tried to ride with training wheels, he never seemed confident enough to try going without them. In fact, he was tearfully afraid to remove them. We would raise and lower them and offer to help him and ask him to try and keep our distance and leave him alone. Nothing seemed to work. This past year, I watched his hope of ever being able to ride a bike diminish as his attempts to ride decreased. It felt like a window of opportunity was closing for him to learn to ride a bike. He had all but given up.

So on Saturday morning, we all sat down together to make a list of all the things we wanted to do this summer. They listed quite a few and I added some of my goals for them. It was a pretty long list. Then I made a chart for both with all of their activities on it with room to check them off as they do them each day. I explained that if they check off everything on their list in a day, they will get a special prize, because it wouldn't be easy. There are things like write in a journal, complete workbook pages, read a book, play an xbox game, play an instrument, watch a movie, play in the backyard, work on a new skill, complete a cub scout requirement, etc. I added practice riding a bike without any apparent protest.

Joel got right to task. (This is when being stubborn really pays off.) He spent the day checking things off one after another, his brother working right alongside him. Then he said he was going to go ride his bike. We offered to take him to a big parking lot with lots of room to ride, having to really pitch the idea, but he consented, finally. Jamie brought a riding toy and off we went. This was day one. [Incidentally, Joel earned his special prize that day.]

Day two we raised the training wheels, I think without his knowledge, and he did just fine. We made a game of trying to complete a circle without touching the training wheels to the ground, which he managed a few times.

On day three, I bought a cheap bike from Target first thing in the morning that did not have training wheels. I left it in the garage to surprise Joel. When he saw it, he cried not tears of joy but of despair. Consoling him didn't work. "I'll never ride it." I told him that kids don't usually cry when they get a new bike and that he'll be kicking himself once he tries it and sees how fun it is. But he wouldn't hear it, or so I thought. We loaded up all the bikes and went down to the big empty parking lot. Since there's only one bike with training wheels, Jamie and Joel had to take turns with it. During Joel's turn, Jamie tried out the new bike for size and didn't seem much afraid of it. While Joel was bitterly waiting for his turn with the little one, Jamie urged Joel to try it, because if it fit his little body, it would definitely fit Joel's. That was a sweet gesture to try to encourage his big brother to give the big bike a try. Finally, I offered to hold him while he rode, and he consented to try it once. He immediately took off faster than I could run. Once he realized he was riding unassisted, he called out, "You were right, mom! I am kicking myself, because this is so FUN! Jamie, you can have the little bike all to yourself!!"

Mission accomplished!

Birthdays

I love throwing my kids' birthday parties. Each time one approaches, I ask them, where they want to have their party. As I'm listing off the choices (bowling, bouncy, skating, swimming, park), I'm very careful to make "home" the most pleasantly inflected and awesome sounding.

I can't help it.

I love having kids' parties. I love the silly games. I love the yummy food and watching them eat it. I love all the screaming and the excited ruckus. I love the special decorations. I even enjoy all the planning and crafting that I do before it. It's like a final exam that involves the research, the presentation, the visual aids, the Q&A afterwards.

The downside of my serious preparation is having to swat at all the sneaky fingers intent for the cakes, frostings, candies, and treats I'm making the week before the party, both mine and the boys. "Saturday" is said a lot. But it's so fun. It's worth it!

90 lbs.

A newborn calf

4 1/2 automobile tires

8 average housecats

Posh Spice

2 elephants' hearts

2 small bales of hay

A bald eagle standing on top of a gold brick

Three gas grill tanks

A bloodhound

Random notes

I like reading the 1000 Awesome Things blog. It makes me feel like I'm doing my part to look on the bright side of life.

Public education is not what it used to be. At least, when I was growing up, I don't remember the challenges that my kids face in public school now. I'm trying very hard to make the best of it, though. But since I'm not getting paid to do all this work, I can't help but feel sometimes like asking for some of our tax money back. Is there a provision somewhere in our constitution that allows people to penalize government if it fails?

Facebook has made high school reunion invitations way easier.

Last Wills and Testaments are creepy.

I need a female BFF. Loneliness isn't about not having someone around. It's about everyone around you being unavailable to share your experiences and understand you. My kids need BFFs, too.

Defumigating

Joel: "Excuse me. ... I keep farting! I'm going crazy! I wish I could take my tush off and put it outside!"

Life and death

Aging is not pretty, is it? So, why the phrase "aging gracefully"? There are wrinkles, thinning skin, blood vessels that seem to emerge, the gray hairs incapable of "going with the flow". Then there's the loss of memory, sight, hearing, movement, and so on. Much more "goes", but I've probably said plenty already. Who wants to talk about it, really? It's so depressing. I'm certainly not enjoying the many of signs of my youth diminishing. I don't see anyone else enjoying it. Is there any beauty in aging? Only the healthy ones who don't seem to have a lot of the major debilitating qualities of aging seem to be celebrating life and vigor in the golden years. Sometimes it's their hard work at self-preservation that gave them that happy ending, but more often than not, it seems to be luck, genetics, or divine providence.

Our sweet beagle Mabel died in January. She was 12. We'd been married 14 years. She was our family for 5 years before we had our first child. We miss her with every step that we used to take around her attentive little body. As sweet as she was (and not prone to complain), she didn't really make getting old look fun. It was sad and hard.

My grandmother passed away a week ago today. She was 90. That's what old is in my book. And she was a cranky woman many of her days, though I don't fault her for it, particularly. She tried to make the best of what she had, yet she didn't seem to have much. But she voiced her miseries whenever we spoke for as long as I can remember. Until the very last couple of weeks, so I'm told. In the end, she was at peace with everything, which seemed so out of character for her.

So, is that how I can avoid the slow, steady decline, assuming it's inevitable?

Was it my grandmother's time, once she came to her peaceful realization or did she reach that point because she knew her time had come? If I moan and groan less and strive to be at peace with one and all, will I be spared those agonizing days of physical and mental trial?

I admit that I don't have a lot of data, nor am I necessarily looking for it! I've lost a small handful of loved ones, but many are still very much alive and well, thank goodness. But I'd like to know, so that maybe, just maybe, I might get to influence the endgame a little.

Potatoes are awesome!!!!

We're taking the kids on a surprise trip to Disneyland and San Diego. Surprise, because we don't want days and weeks of "how many days until Disneyland?" and "Joel says Lightening McQueen isn't real." Surprise, that is, until Joel's teacher commented during a conference call on our being on vacation next week.

Still hoping last night to keep the location a secret, we let it slip that we are taking a family vacation to Idaho for potato picking. We thought we were kidding around. The kids did not. They got _so_ excited. "YES!" and "AWESOME!" and "We are going to bring home a car full of potatoes!!"

Just imagine how disappointed they will be when they see Disneyland... because picking potatoes is awesome!

Breakfast of Champions

Joel: [looking longingly at the cake I brought home from last night's baptism] Mom, can I have a piece of cake?

Me: Not until you eat, like, 4 vegetables.

Joel: Does eating 4 carrots count as 4 vegetables?

Me: No. One.

Joel: Ok.

[sits down with the bag of carrots and hummus]

OK, I ate 10 carrots! That counts as 2 vegetables, right?

Me: Sure. [...] What are you making now?

Joel: I don't know, broccoli, 10 of them, with cheese. You said 4 of them is 1, so after I eat them I'll be done with my vegetables, right?

Me: [feeling slightly manipulated] Yeah, ok.

Joel: Done!

Harlan: Hurray!

Joel: Cake? [with goofy grin]

Me: OK.

10 thanks

to my mom and dad, for giving me so many opportunities and supporting me as I tried them out.

to Harlan, for putting up with all my grownup tantrums and giving me chances to make it all up to you.

to Joel, for trying things that we think you'll enjoy.

to Jamie, for reminding me what love and tenderness is.

to My church family, for teaching the gospel to my family.

to Music, for giving me a language that I can speak.

to Open Air, for letting Harlan work from home.

to Shay, for introducing me to a diet that I can stick to.

to Heavenly Father, for giving me the chance to do this and pushing me every step of the way.

to Jesus Christ, for paying for all of my mistakes.

New Phase: Ups and Downs

Homeschooling is hard. For some people, maybe it's not.

I remember when I was reading about pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. Reading about it was easy. Predicting how someone with average intelligence would sail through it was easy. Getting through it adeptly with grace and ease, not easy. Lots of tears. Lots of panic. Lots of despair.

Homeschooling looks hard, sounds hard, and probably could be easier than I'm making it. But [huge sigh] I'm struggling with my strong-willed, argumentative, always-thinking-outside-the-box son to get him to do what he needs to do each day. Dare I wager that all parents struggle, albeit in different ways, to get their kids to do things or learn something important? That's probably the hardest part in the early days of homeschooling. That and trying not to throw something when his eyes glaze over.

Like with pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding, there are moments of great joy while slogging through hours of lessons at home. After a two-hour briefing on the history of Western civilization from Ancient Rome to the beginning of the Renaissance, I fully expected him to say "I'm so glad that is OVER!!" So when he said, "That was fun! I like history!" I wanted to pour chocolate syrup over him and lick him from head to toe. And, during Spelling he said, "I don't know a word for 'to provide all that is needed', unless it's 'supply'?" After a particularly grueling dose of defiant protesting and my justified rant on how miserable I felt, he turned on the charm and randomly inserted "I love you, mom" into the rest of the day's lessons.

Small moments of bliss that nearly make all the tears worthwhile keep me wondering if I can handle this, and if so, for how long? I'm measuring my hatred of giving up against my love of my own sanity. Will it come to that?

So as I take a lesson from my own history, I welcome the flashbacks to the despairing first few months of motherhood and the wise women who said, "it will get better." It did. And this will.