Life and death

Aging is not pretty, is it? So, why the phrase "aging gracefully"? There are wrinkles, thinning skin, blood vessels that seem to emerge, the gray hairs incapable of "going with the flow". Then there's the loss of memory, sight, hearing, movement, and so on. Much more "goes", but I've probably said plenty already. Who wants to talk about it, really? It's so depressing. I'm certainly not enjoying the many of signs of my youth diminishing. I don't see anyone else enjoying it. Is there any beauty in aging? Only the healthy ones who don't seem to have a lot of the major debilitating qualities of aging seem to be celebrating life and vigor in the golden years. Sometimes it's their hard work at self-preservation that gave them that happy ending, but more often than not, it seems to be luck, genetics, or divine providence.

Our sweet beagle Mabel died in January. She was 12. We'd been married 14 years. She was our family for 5 years before we had our first child. We miss her with every step that we used to take around her attentive little body. As sweet as she was (and not prone to complain), she didn't really make getting old look fun. It was sad and hard.

My grandmother passed away a week ago today. She was 90. That's what old is in my book. And she was a cranky woman many of her days, though I don't fault her for it, particularly. She tried to make the best of what she had, yet she didn't seem to have much. But she voiced her miseries whenever we spoke for as long as I can remember. Until the very last couple of weeks, so I'm told. In the end, she was at peace with everything, which seemed so out of character for her.

So, is that how I can avoid the slow, steady decline, assuming it's inevitable?

Was it my grandmother's time, once she came to her peaceful realization or did she reach that point because she knew her time had come? If I moan and groan less and strive to be at peace with one and all, will I be spared those agonizing days of physical and mental trial?

I admit that I don't have a lot of data, nor am I necessarily looking for it! I've lost a small handful of loved ones, but many are still very much alive and well, thank goodness. But I'd like to know, so that maybe, just maybe, I might get to influence the endgame a little.