Fleeting moments

For quite some time now, with notable thanks to the research and advice of Marc Weisbluth, I have emerged from the fog of sleep deprivation and the exhaustion of physically carrying little humans around in various capacities.  It is a testament to the overwhelming shock of becoming a parent that it has taken me so long to realize that those precious early stages of my childrens' lives are rapidly passing by, and that that time when my boys were babies was precious, beautiful, simple, and delicious.  Adjectives that I would have used to describe that fog were much less idealistic when completely immersed in it, but isn't that the case with most stages of our lives?  

So, I recognize the need to repent.  Today, I reminded myself at various times, even when it was difficult or unnatural, that I needed to take a mental snapshot of the laughter and joy that comes with having two little people in my life.  

One moment was when I was getting ready this afternoon, dad and j were exercising in the living room.  They were both laughing and grunting and I wasn't soaking it all in like I could have if I just put my toothbrush down and went into the living room and watched.  I'm so glad that I seized the moment and watched j bench-press dad with the appropriate numerical grunt for each repetition.  j had complete buy-in that he was actually bench-pressing his dad, that it was worthwhile work, and that afterwards, he's supposed to say, "whew!" with a sense of accomplishment.

Later I stopped what I was doing to watch j's gratifying giggles as dad played "tick tock" with him.  There's nothing on earth that creates as much concentrated serotonin in my brain than j's smile and laugh.  

At swim lessons, J was pushing himself to swim all the way across the pool.  The determination was just dripping off of him.  It was so vivid and inspiring to watch!  I tried to make a memory of it that would be retrievable when I'm old and lonely.  

Earlier, J was working on addition and subtraction in his workbook when I noticed that I didn't have to make him do his work.  He was enjoying it.  And he was calculating problems using his toes whenever he ran out of fingers!  

Lastly, as if to reinforce my determination to remember these memories, I practiced retrieving them when j kissed me goodnight, as J was reading a Dr. Seuss to me, and as I'm blogging about it now.  I'm going to miss these moments.  I already wish I could relive those moments of today and make time stand still with me standing right in the middle of all that joy.  Instead, I kneel down in prayer and pour out my heart in thanks.