FG8

I've been on and off a diet for almost 2 years.  When I'm on, I feel great for the most part, except that I think nonstop about what I'm going to eat as soon as I'm off the diet.  And once I'm off, I immediately gain a lot of it back before I get back on again.  I get completely out of control.
So where's the balance?  How do I learn to love being in control of what I eat?  How do people learn to love not eating pastries, chocolate, and ice cream?  What do skinny people think about all day if they aren't thinking about all the food they're going to eat?  Has someone written about this?  I should look.