Moving on

I signed Joel in at preschool this morning.  As I was leaving, I asked if he wanted a hug.  He said, "No, I'll give you a hug at home."  I was not prepared for this response.  

I was prepared for, "Don't go!" 

I was prepared for a body-slam hug and a death squeeze that doesn't end until I insist.  

I was prepared for an all-out protest, whimpering, even crying. 

That hug has been a ritual for 2 years.  A full-on public demonstration that I am Joel's mom.   The territorial mark Joel needs to show all the other kids in his class that he's loved just as much or more than they are.  

Something happened today.  

I feel like protesting, whimpering, crying, a death squeeze and not letting go.  

I've always liked moving on.  But now I just want to live in the moment.